I was outside today weeding, bending over and reaching down to grab an errant clump of grass. I stood back up and stumbled on the paver behind me.
The first thought that popped into my mind was, I hope I'm not losing my balance in my old age.
Seriously?
When did my mind automatically jump to decrepitude when anything untoward happens?
If I forget the word I want to write or say, I worry I am getting senile.
If I ache or groan when I stand up, I worry that I am becoming feeble.
If I leave my keys in my other coat when I change coats between dogs, I worry that I am losing my mental acuity.
I stumbled because the ground was uneven.
I forget the word I want to write or say because the hard drive is full, people. It takes longer to retrieve the perfect word when you know so many words.
I may groan when I stand up - sometimes. But so do the young men I work with. Muscle aches are a symptom of over-activity, not frailty.
The house keys I left in my other pocket because I was hurrying to change into a lighter coat while leashing Angel and trying not to get tangled in Bogie's leash.
All logical explanations that don't include being infirm or doddering.
So why was age my first thought?
I believe it is something that people actually worry about. You know,"How would I have handled this five years ago?"
ReplyDeleteIt's probably natural. But, of course, it's potentially maddening because there's probably only rarely any way to know, unless you are an athelete with some sort of objective numbers to hit.
Not one thinks to document how many times they lose their keys or forget a word. Then you would have the stats to reassure you. Or maybe it would show you really are getting worse.
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